"The key to change, is to let go of fear" ~ Rosanne Cash
Are you living your life in fear of something that might happen in the future, even though it is not guaranteed to happen, and probably won't actually happen, but since there is a small chance that it could happen, you feel a huge sense of fear, just in case it does happen?
Don't worry, I know how you feel!
We all have at least one fear that is holding us back from living the life we want and deserve to live.
The key is identifying our fear(s) and dealing with them, in a way that we can eventually let them go.
I used to have a fear of being laughed at, put down and belittled by others. Thinking back to this time, I realize now how incredibly debilitating this fear was and how stuck it made me feel in my life. I stopped expressing my thoughts and my opinions. I stopped doing what I wanted to do because I had such a strong fear of judgment and being put down by others. I stayed stuck and didn't move forward with my life towards my dreams and my passions for many years due to this fear.
Later in my life I realized that this fear came from growing with an older sister who used to bully me, laugh at me, judge me and make me feel like I was never good enough.
Having this realization was the first step in dealing with my fear, but I knew I still had a long way to go to eradicate it completely.
The day I picked up the book 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle changed my life.
I'm serious. This book provided a sense of coming back to myself, like it was ok to be me again, and it didn't matter what other people thought. I felt a calmness in my mind and in my whole being, a peace in my heart and a sense of quiet confidence like I hadn't felt before. I read parts of this book every day during the year of 2008. I read it cover to cover multiple times, and also used it as a reference book, tapping into and reading specific sections as needed.
Here are 5 simple techniques that helped me to overcome and let go of my fear. The first is directly from The Power of Now book. The others I learned from various teachers and mentors over the last few years.
Be Fully Present
A fear is something that we think and worry might happen in the future. When we are fully present in the now, the future doesn't exist, so the thing we fear does not exist, and so there is nothing to fear right now at this very moment. If we can relax and focus on our breath and be fully present during every moment of our life, then there is nothing to ever fear because we are never thinking about nor worrying about the future nor any moment apart from the present moment, right now.
Understand that Fear is a Perception of the Mind
When we have an understanding that fear of something that my happen in the future is merely a perception of the mind, it can provide us with great calmness and peace. Since it hasn't happened yet and may never happen, we only think it might happen in our mind. We play over the possibility in our mind like a movie replaying over and over again, and this causes the fear to build stronger and stronger. However, when we realize that what we fear is not tangible nor physical in the physical world, and we begin to understand that our fear is merely a perception of our mind, kind of like a dream, we begin to feel lighter and less burdened by our fear, and realize that our fear doesn't exist outside of our mind.
Determine the Worst Case Scenario
Another helpful way to release fear is to identify the root cause of our fear and then consider the worst case scenario if what we feared actually happened. Once we determine the worst case scenario, we often find that it's not as bad as we think. Even if it is, we have time to consider a possible solution. Sometimes the solution we come up with is so appealing (assuming we allow ourselves and our mind to get a little creative), that we even begin to wish for our fear to come true. We have then managed to miraculously turn the fear into a wish, just using our mind!
Have Courage to Let Go
Sometimes we need to let go of things in our lives that are contributing to or providing fuel to our fear. We often feed our fear by staying stuck in one path or in one aspect in our life that isn't serving us. It could be a job or a relationship that isn't fulfilling or is creating anxiety or fear of some sort. It could be an emotion that is causing us stress or fear, or even something tangible that we're holding onto because we fear not having it. Letting go takes incredible courage and confidence. It involves making a decision that might not be agreeable with everyone involved. This can cause us fear in itself! We fear what others will think if we let go of this thing. However, we usually know in our heart that letting go will allow us to be less anxious and less fearful and open a door to something greater in our life. Having the courage to step into our power in this way, be true to ourselves, our wishes and our needs, is critical to letting go of fear and being able to move forward in our lives.
Align With Your Purpose
Fear often manifests when we are trying to please others or do something that doesn't fully align with our personal desires or our life purpose. It's so important to be a little selfish and be true to ourselves and our own wishes and follow a path that feels right in our heart. When we are living from our intuition, our truth, our purpose, there is much less to fear because we are more confident about our decisions and our path and we are continually being guided by our intuition, our higher self. Check out an article I wrote about Discovering Your Purpose in Life.
I invite you to try some of these techniques in your own life by applying them to fears you have, and let me know how you get on. Pick something that you fear. Start small and simple with minor fears, then move onto bigger fears. It could be losing your job, losing a loved one, being punished, being judged or laughed at, or something else.
Whatever it is, feel your fear deeply in your body, in your heart, and then practice one or more of the above techniques, knowing that the goal of letting go of your fear, is to allow you to open up to your full potential and live the life you deserve and wish for.
Feel free to leave a comment in the comments section below. I'd love to hear how you get on with these and how you feel after letting go of your fears!
To your fearless success, with love and gratitude,